Pregistration: Planning out your life enough in advance to pay money at Bikereg.com to guarantee your spot in a race. Super contentious topic if you’re in charge of said event and are attempting to plan out a year long budget for a one day event
Mountain: it’s the racing that takes place on dirt. Not a lot of rules or restrictions. Bike is highly recommended to be able to handle steep uneven uphills or downhills. Everything else is fair game
Road: it’s the racing that takes place on pavement. Usually involves several laps, the racing format is either for time or distance. Bike must have curved handlebars and clip in pedals. Way too many rules to classify the format and types
Criterium: A format of road racing. Laps are less than two miles long, the estimated total time is advertised at preregistration, and eventually race officials will inform racers how many laps they have left to race
Tactics: Preplanned and applied methodology to navigating around racers, all while pretending you have a semblance of control. Generates a similar reaction to when someone attempts to seriously discuss Group and Chaos theory
Peloton: the group of racers on course. Also known as field, or pack, also your bike fam and frenemies and comrades. Try to hug them and tell them how much you appreciate them as often as you can. Don’t hate them or wish them ill: everyone is there to play bikes, just like you
Specialist: That Racer talking loudly on the start line talking way too loud about how well/not well their biking physiology compares to the course. It’s usually an exaggeration and will have less of an impact on the race then they’d like to pretend. Common types are Sprinters, Climbers, Time Trialists, All Rounders, Domestiques
Sprinters: you’ve got a lot of muscles, some of them quick-twitch, and your special trick in races and moving Very Fast at the crucial time in a race. Your plan is all about finding that crucial moment for all of the glory
Climbers: you’re bitter about not having as many muscles as the Sprinters, but have way more mental grit to ride harder for longer. Your plan is to find the tough course feature to outwork everyone else on
Time Trialists: maybe you have muscles, maybe you don’t, but to you time is a flat circle and eternal is how long you can ride hard at a steady effort. Your plan is to do this for as long as possible and outlast everyone else
All Rounders: you’ve tried to personalize with all of the other types and it’s either calling yourself this or having an identity crisis. You hope people don’t ask about your plan
Domestiques: French for getting over the identity crisis and a willingness to be an official or unofficial teammate for another racer for them to do well. It’s both a hilarious excuse for explaining how you didn’t win a race and a wonderfully selfless attitude about giving your effort on behalf of someone else. Your plan is looking for those moments to help and spend all of the time after the race explaining it, whether or not someone asks about it
Breakaway | Off The Front: a magic trick where in broad daylight one or several racers move significantly faster and ahead of the peloton to ‘sneakily’ win the race. No, racers aren’t blind to this
Chase: after the breakaway happens more racers attempt to do a poor imitation of the same trick. Think of the procrastinators that scramble to catch up on deadlines. This is the cycling equivalent. Goal is to either join the breakaway or reconnect the field to the front
Dropped | Off The Back: you missed paying attention to the Breakaway, Chase and Peloton and suddenly you’re racing along with no Draft
Draft: That Thing you should have paid more attention to in Basic Physics class. Also known as ‘being aero’ and makes riding in a group thirty three percent efficient
Efficient: A hilariously out of touch word to describe the effort to work ratio for competing so hard it can induce a chronic heart arrhythmia
Pulled: When the race official signal for you to exit the race before it’s over because you’re Off The Back and in the way of the rest of the race that’s gone so fast they’re lapping you and you’re in the Danger Zone now
Move Up: You don’t want to pedal without Draft or be Pulled so it’s pedal hard fiesta time forward through the peloton bay-beeee
Preem lap: race officials will ring the bell when the front of the race comes through. Prizes, or ‘preemimuns’ are given the top placing racers on the next immediate lap. Drastically changes the race dynamic, whether the prize is A Lot Of Money or a Burrito Gift Card
Shred: there’s no actual act of separation between material here because biking at speed is a relatively precise science. It’s a fun noun that substitutes the array of moods as we indulge in a dangerous pastime for its own intrinsic joy