WIP without images (for now) because I’d rather give this a couple hours of headway time on social media than wait until it’s all properly done to spread the hype
Remember when I wrote a pre race report, back in March? And I how I haven’t written one since? It’s not that I haven’t been inspired to do so- believe me, I still get excited to sit on a bike to pedal and steer at high speeds with friends. Every time. Almost thirty, and I still have yet to find a pastime that makes me feel more alive than putting the fun between my legs and going hard
Some of the not-writing Life that’s been happening here is because of New Stuff At Work (new coworkers, new responsibilities, still struggling to pretend to be a firmware engineer with a mechanical background), Big Projects Outside Of Work (#BikeFam, I’m buying speaker equipment THIS WEEKEND for all of the events we’re jamming at together, chill), and overall restructuring my life to be more sustainable at it’s usual break-neck speed (a little less meat and a wee bit more coffee and yoga and sleep feels EXCELLENT) All of which takes away from sitting down to do Other Things, including Writing about all of that. You can leave as many notes to your Future Self as possible for the To Do list and pat yourself on the back for being all organized. Eventually you have to fill the cup with coffee/beer/tea and start putting your back into it
The good news I’ve found is you can do whatever you want once the mind is focused and you put your will to it: what’s much more eye-opening is how it consuming that can be, and the rest of you withers away. The sum of the parts is greater than the whole. You gotta give each the due attention, and give the rest a break
My handle is still @bensanrides , and if there was ever a week to indulge in being a bike racer it’s this one: New England Crit Week! There’ll be quite a bit more #content coming up, because even after years of racing I get way too excited about this time of year. Heck of a lot of attention will be to racing for this week. And if you don’t share what you love, how else does it grow? When you know another way, tell me how, but in the meantime I’m going to be hyped about racing bikes like it’s my job
This post has got a couple different bits here. One is a brief preview of each race, the other is a link to a lexicon of bike racing terminology so when you read each there’s a better understanding of what I’m so excited about. Might as well give context to the baffling terminology that’s regularly referred to
Gnar Weasels
All right, little bit of a fib, because this is a New-To-Me race, also isn’t officially a part of New England Crit Week and this will be precisely the second mountain bike race I’ve ever done. Racing is racing, and despite using a different bike we’ll count it for now
The promoter is Results_Boy , and along with Night Weasels, not only does he additionally manage Ice Weasels and Greenfield Criterium, he’s the president of NEBRA and you’d be hard pressed to find another human that makes their will so manifest for the good of the community. That alone makes it worthwhile to attend any event Results_Boy has a hand in
This is basically a shameless plug for Results_Boy to distract from the fact I’m scared witless to pedal hard on not-pavement and have little to offer for pre race insight I really hope I make it out in once piece to write about it so moving on
Fitchburg
Oh man. Oh mama. Take me now, tell ‘em I went willingly
What’s not to like about this race? It gets national attention, for better or for worse. Beer is served beer on course. It’s broadcasted on television. The weather is peak summer furnace. Punishing, just how I like it. The course brings EVERYTHING to the table, so-called-specialist be dammed. And, being ever-so-biased, it’s the best shot I have for a best personal result for New England Crit week. Name a more iconic race I WON’T WAIT because I’m so excited to go hard
What the gif doesn’t show is the course is almost all uphill or downhill. You have to either pedal efficiently or ball so hard the [RUDE] want to fine me AND steer the downhill and the corners well enough to survive the whole mess. If you make the selection for this race, you’ve made it as a bike racer so well done. Always worth the registration fee. It’s also July in New England. One memorable race I was spitting blood while driving the pace in a ninety degree oven. Another had so much rain it was over one hundred percent humidity please don’t science-splain my hyperbole. That day I had to bunny hop over a crashing racer on the downhill and I still wonder why I waste my ninja reflexes on bike racing and not the Filipino Mafia
Fitchburg is such a fun course I’m keeping pre race thoughts and strategies secret, except for the Strava gif listed. Hint hint, it’s my fastest lap time there
Exeter Criterium
Deep inside my sassy brassy exterior I have several soft spots for this race. Is it because it’s run by fellow Wildcat Alum Ryan_From_Exit17 ? The iconic historic New England downtown we get to play bikes on? The number of national professional racers that come to give a live demonstration on pedaling hard? The dogpile effect everyone has being so psyched for this race?
Yes yes yes yes and yes
This is a surprisingly technical race. Every corner is different and is challenging in its own way, and it’s one of the last races in New England that runs a massive crowd preem (see lexicon for Benjamin ‘Splains Bike Words). How massive? Safe bet is at least five hundred dollars massive. We’ll break the speed limit that lap, which is currently eighty seconds for twelve hundred meters. Quick rough math translation shows that’s fifty percent faster than Usain Bolt can sprint for a third of the distance. If you think that sounds awkward imagine jockeying around in a mosh pit of peloton at that pace
I’ve never done exceptionally well here so a proper course preview is hard to do proper justice here. They key that I’ve found to at least surviving is relaxing in every single corner. First corner is deceptively wide and racers will needlessly bunch into each other to ramp up the speed. Second corner funnels and pinches and hems on both sides high curbs to cull the pack. Third corner takes place on level sidewalk paint which claims crashes than fairly possible. There’s no fourth corner because the peloton speed is so fast the turns smoothed out. Stay upright in every corner and you just might make it
Bike New Hampshire Motor Speedway
Hmm this one isn’t actually a part of New England Crit week either. It does however occur during the empty slot the schedule would normally fill, plus it’s an exciting event to share. If you don’t share what you love, how else will it grow?
My realest and bestest Bike Fam hosts a weekly race series with rotating courses, and this one is the closest it gets to rocking harder that Queen like a criterium. First corner funnels fast and tight, best handlers front to the line please. Second corner kicks hard from downhill speed to a headwind tunnel. Gotta sort yourself in the peloton in the best position possible because oh snap third corner is an off camber smooth paint turn which is the sole dangerous feature that prevents us from making this a sanctioned USAC race. Last final corner before the uphill kicker is also off-camber, but wide enough so you can Choose Your Own Adventure line before Unleashing The Beast for the sprint finish. For me, it’ll be the last race of the week and another reason why it gets a mention here
Greenfield Criterium
Find it a bit hard to talk about this one because 1) I’m not attending it this year (see? I don’t spend ALL of my time racing, thank you very much) 2) there’s little different about the format or terrain to distinguish it from most industrial lot courses 3) this is another hard riddle of a course I have yet to crack. Virtually flat, three of four corners are textbook ninety degrees boredom, personally unsure where the selection for this race happens (if you’re a teammate reading this, try to string out the front by corner three, send it wide and no brakes all the way to the final corner, and BE PATIENT to come around in the final stretch to win)
And yet- the event is everything about what makes bike racing great. It brings so many people hyped for bikes. The promoter is dedicated to bringing parity to the sport. It’s a well run race. Each peloton fills with enough bodies that the defining course features are moving around the racers themselves. Which truthfully is what bike racing is really about. In this time of DIY workout experts and digital connections being a poor substitute for the real thing, we pack the peloton every event to rub shoulders and rubber to Feel It Still
Which really is one of the biggest reasons New England Crit Week is the best. It’s a days-long bike party mosh pit
Spending my #necritweek prep slicing chilled pineapple, come by for a slice. Look for the Crazy Asian with flames on his chest and dark clouds on his arm. We can toast to the hottest, maddest week to be a racer, and be thankful it comes once a year